I hate when people cry in front of me like should I pat their head, should I grab their ass I don’t fucking know
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do
dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off
“People with vaginas”
what are those called again
I can’t remember
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
i was reading a list of pancake flavors at this restaurant and one was buttermilk chocochip and i read it as benedict cumberbatch
“I’m sad.”
“OK. I’ll lick you until you’re not sad.”
“…OK.”
Merry Unbirthday, to you all!
Happy Unbirthday dear Tumblr nation
[x]
What if instead of having sirens ambulances just played move bitch get out the way by ludacris
when skinny people call themselves fat and you’re heavier then them
Those chunky potato fry things are delicious.
they are called smiley fries you uncultured shit
Women are so pissed about being objectified and then they objectify themselves by getting abortion which is literally saying “my body is just a thing I use for sex, not the actual divine purpose it was created for”